Wedding Weekend Extravaganza

I realize now that I've never explained how I am the odd one out in my family. How I am the misfit. Most of what I'm about to tell you happened during the time when a. I was really busy, b. blogger.com wouldn't let me in, and c. I'd forgotten to be good about keeping up with my entries.

Very specifically, the most important part of this story happened in May. But first, I must back up.

I am the eldest of three children. I am 25, Michael is 23, and Katie is 21. I was always the educationally driven child, even growing up, so it is no surprise that I went to college and then continued on to grad school. My brother attempted some online courses, but quit because his English class was too hard (never mind that his older sister is an English major and writing center tutor). My sister tried a semester at a large university as a business major because people in this country have the false belief that you need a degree in business to open a business. Finally, she quit and started attending a local community college for Culinary Arts while living at home. She's going to be a great chef. The traditional 4-yr college experience is an oddity in my family. My father went to mechanics school to learn how to work on cars, and my mother quit college after a semester. They are both very successful, my father as one of the top auto fire investigators on the East Coast, and my mother as a successful photographer with her own studio on our property. But I'm the only one in my family to complete college, let alone head off to grad school. Plus, I focused on Shakespeare. My mother once thought that some guy named Macbeth wrote the play A Midsummer Night's Dream. So...I'm on my own here.

My brother dated the same girl for years. She wrapped him around her little pinky and never let go. So he proposed, and they set the date for May 2, 2009.

My sister dated the same guy for years. They argued a lot, but it was because they are both stubborn as oxes. He loved her, tho. It was easy to see. He moved into the barn with my sister. Halfway through her first semester as a culinary arts student, Katie found out she was pregnant. Adam immediately proposed. My family is difficult to gather in one place, so my parents suggested that Katie and Adam tie the knot the day after my brother's wedding. May 3rd, 2009.

I have failed miserably at the game of love. I was not going to get married any time soon.

I did have a boyfriend at the time, however. Originally I thought inviting him to the wedding weekend extravaganza was a bit like asking a guy to willingly jump in the trenches, so I didn't ask him. But then I realized that since I was graduating at the end of May, and because he was doing some traveling of his own later, that this week (because I had to stay home after the weddings and watch my parents' house, who were justifiably skipping town as soon as the weddings were over) was our last guaranteed time to spend alone before I moved.

So he bit the bullet and came along.

Imagine being the eldest, in your mid-twenties, bringing your boyfriend to your younger brother's and younger sister's wedding(s) within the same weekend. If one more relative asked me when I was going to get married, I was going to snap. Just...it's as bad as you would imagine.

To top it off, I was not in my brother's wedding, and I was only a bride's maid in my sister's wedding. Katie's best friend was her maid of honor even though I had offered to fill the role (also when my sister gave birth to my niece a few days ago I was not allowed in the delivery room, but her best friend was).

My mother is about babies and getting married. She got married when she was 20, and she popped me out 2 years later. I'm already 5 years behind schedule. When my mother tells people about her children, she goes on and on about the weddings and the baby, and can only think to say that I'm living at home right now. Nothing about my accomplishment of earning two masters in Shakespeare by the age of 24. Or that I'm working on a third Masters (in Education this time). Nope. Just..."and then there's Lauren. [read here: the one who can't seem to find a husband or who can't seem to muster the wants to have me another grandbaby]".

I am loved. Very very loved. My parents help me whenever and however they can, and currently they are providing me with a roof over my head and food in my belly. They are also quite proud of me. But they don't quite know what to do with me except look at me with sad eyes. I don't fit into society's norm, and I certainly don't fit into this family's norm.

In this family you get a job. You get married. You have babies.

I want to find a fulfilling career(s) while searching within myself to find out who I am. I want to marry eventually, but not right now. And I want to adopt a young child (between 3 and 5 years old) after I get married. And I want to live in a bustling city, not slower lower backwater hometown, USA. I want to do more than just exist.

Life is tough when your brother and your sister fulfill your societal role before you do.