The Blizzard of 2010

Everyone is in a panic about the impending blizzard, but no one is freaking out more than my own parents. They have a special reason; they are scheduled to leave for a cruise out of Baltimore on Sunday and they didn't buy the insurance that would let them move their cruise if they miss the boat. So...panic.

Yesterday is when the general panic set in. Two other couples were going to drive to our house on Friday and Saturday, and then they were all going to head out on Sunday in one car. My mom and I decided to go to the grocery store around 2 to get food for two large meals that would feed everyone. The store was crowded, as one would expect. We grabbed some food, and mom decided that she had a ham and a brisket, so we just needed some side dishes. We grabbed what we needed and headed home.

When my dad got home from work, he started panicking about not being able to get to Baltimore if the government calls a state of emergency. He convinced my mother that they need to leave on Friday and get a room until Sunday. They call their friends and make the appropriate plans. I start to feel, for the first time, a pang of panic in my heart. I'd be utterly by myself all weekend. I'd have no interaction with other human beings for the entire time I'm snowed in. I might as well live in a cabin in the woods at this point.

Then the prospect of being by myself brought on another fear. Our property is 5 acres. Our driveway spans 2 acres. Our snow-blower is finicky and unreliable. And that's even if I knew how to start it in the first place. "Dad. How am I going to get all the snow off the driveway?" I asked. He looked at me for a second, and then began to mime a shoveling action. My eyes grew like saucers. I would have to shovel the entire driveway by myself. A month ago I barely survived when I had to shovel out a spot big enough for my car. Bwah!?

Also, food might be an issue. We have lots of food for big meals, but very little in the way of individual servings. Also, also, I've never made a ham. Or a brisket. At this point, I'm certain that before this is all over, I'll be eating a meal consisting entirely of Stove Top Stuffing and Poptarts. But that was the least of my worries, apparently.

My mother started panicking about all of the other details that I hadn't thought of. "What if we lose power?" she asked. Power? I could lose power? When I'm all by myself? But I'm just a girl! I won't know what to do! My mom turned to me and said, "honey, if you lose power you have to build a fire in the fireplace to stay warm." Ohmygod. I'm going to freeze to death in my own house. To be fair, I was a girl scout and I know how to start a fire, but still. There's the possibility that I could run out of wood. You don't learn how to use an axe in Girl Scouts (that's another issue...but I won't digress). And then I thought about what food I could eat in the event I have no way to heat it. We have hot dogs, so I can roast those. But then I wondered if we have a non-electric can opener. If it gets down to it and I have to start eating canned food, would I even be able to open them? And then what about sleeping? I'd have to sleep by the fireplace all night. On the floor? Could I drag my mattress into the living room to the fireplace? Also, if there's no power, there's no water. Which means the toilets will be unflushable.... I'm going to die. I'm suddenly second-guessing all those times I laughed at that Bear soandso guy on Man Vs. Wild. Its not so ridiculous now that I'm facing possible death at nature's hands.

So now I'm fairly certain that my parents are going to return from their cruise to find me dead on my mattress in front of the fireplace. I'll have a can of beans in one hand and a butter knife in the other. Hopefully the dogs won't have started gnawing on me by then.